Saturday, March 28, 2015

AUTISM & T-BALL

My My Aspie son doesn't like sports - most of his weekend time is spent playing the Magic Gathering - usually with men twice his age and the occasional teen who also finds interest, solace and community inside of the extremely complicated game of dragons, warlocks, creatures and spells.

 But as I also have another son who is "neuro-typical" and his weekned afternoons are spent like most children his age - on the baseball diamond playing T-ball.


Today, in the middle of his game, I observed a young boy on the team that I determined to be on the Autistic Spectrum based on the simple observation that while the rest of the team sat together during the game, talking  to each other - this one boy sat by himself carefully inspecting the dirt in front of him as he mumbled to himself.  Each inning when the team was at bat he woud find that solitary clump of dirt and when it was time to take the field, he father would gently steer him towards right field while calling out for him to, "Pay attention, Jessie!"

When Jessie came up to bat, his team - trying to cheer him - started clapping in unison and shouting, "Let's go, Jessie, let's go" in unison.  Their simple chant turned to something painful in Jessie's mind  as several times during this at bat,  Jessie would step away from the T-ball stand to tell the children to stop teasing him or to be quiet.  The confrontation between Jessie and his teammates came to a head when the father, clearly feeling the anxiety and frustration of a father who simply wants to participate in the American custom of watching one's son play baseball, walked over to the plate,  escorted his son back to the dugout and signalled for the next kid to take his son's turn at bat - Jessie's 1st bat - cancelled halfway through.

I watched as the father lovingly implored his son to "Remember what we talked about... You said you were going to try your best..." and what I wanted to say, "But he is trying his best - that's the best he's got at this time".  This is not any proof of knowledge on my part but rather a shared history with this father as I have - more times than I can remember - implored, urged and even yelled at my son to, "Be good", "Do what you're supposed to" and "Don't be difficult".
"Can't you show some initiative and do it my way?!'"

That's the difficult challenge of parenting an Autistic Child:  They are born, they bang their drum and instead of marching to their beat, we, as parents, urge them to see their beat is wrong and focus all our efforts on changing the rhythm of their lives.

I saw on the father's face the same same fears, frustrations and personal shame that I have felt too many times to mention as a parent of a child on the spectrum.  I wanted to say something to him but discretion is the better part of valor so instead I walked over to his son - carefully focused on the dirt in front of him.

"You think any ants could live in this dirt?"  I don't know what made me ask him that but it just seemed like the most logical thing to wonder when inspecting dirt.

"Yes", he said without looking up at me.

"I don't know", I continued, "It's awful dry dirt - don't they need water?"

"Do you like Toy Story 3?" he asked me.

"Yeah", I replied, "I even cried.  Did you?"

"No.   The hook saved them..."                          

And we were off.... Trading notes on Buzz, Woody and the whole crew - even the alien toys.

Jessie's father looked over and later, I shared about our Toy Story 3 conversation.  We shared a laugh about the tearful end and I think we both realized - sometimes in life we think we're playing T-ball but we're actually looking for bugs or thinking about Toy Story 3...

The rhythm with our special kids may seem off but it works for them and all we have to do - if we can remember - is to not try so hard to get them to march to our beat but keep trying to learn to dance to theirs....

Alan Aymie is an LA-based writer/performer whose current solo play A CHILD LEFT BEHIND addresses autism, education and every child's first teacher.

Saturday, March 14, 2015

30 Shows in 30 Nights... No, really.... No, REALLY...!

"What am I doing?!?" 

This thought has crossed my mind more than once in the past week as I realize I have double-downed on a catchy phrase that is destined to make the month of March (not to mention April) an exhaustive endeavor where I attempt to perform...

30 Shows in 30 Nights...

Two years ago, I was performing my solo show, A Child Left Behind - an autobiographical story about my last year in a South LA school and my son's first year in a Beverly Hills school after being assessed with Asperger's Syndrome - in NYC and Woodstock in concurrent productions... (can't believe I used the word concurrent...) and during those 2 hour bus rides from the NY Port Authority and the Kingston Bus terminal, I realized that this show with all its props, set and costume in my backpack, was about as portable as it could get... So why not try to make it portable?

Last year for Autism Awareness Month, I performed the show that the LA Times called, "Compelling... A first rate education...!" at two different theaters... This year as I started to think, "I should try to do this at several different theaters..."

Then without any real reason why, that thought grew into, "Why not every night of the month of April..?"  That one thought prompted me to make a commitment to perform the entire month of April while raising money for Autism Awareness through my 1POWER4AUTISM donations page.

Currently, I will be performing my show at four different theaters in LA with more hopefully being added, along with schools, libraries and even a hospital community center... For some reason, that I don't know I am now emailing, writing and calling various spaces to host the show for a night or more - I'm not sure why, I'm not sure if I'll actually hit thirty this April but it sounded good and sometimes, that's all it takes...

Alan Aymie is a Boston-born, LA based writer/performer.  For more information, visit www.alanaymie.com


Sunday, November 2, 2014

The ONE thing that will change your classroom right now!

I stood there watching the new teacher...

She was shouting for attention.  The children in her class were carrying various conversations, arguments and discussions and they were completely ignoring her.

Suddenly, her demands to be quiet were now targeted at various children in her line who happened to be talking and a very interesting thing started to occur:  the line got noisier not quieter.

As she singled out various children for talking, their collective noise level only grew as they had to raise their voices above their teachers as to be heard by their friends....

While my class and I patiently waited for them to walk past, I couldn't help but feel sorry for this new teacher who was clearly trying her best to keep her class of seven or eight year-old children in line and quiet.    The pained helpless look on her face prompted me to call out...

"I really like how this young lady in pink is standing quietly in line!"

Silence.

That's all it took.  One compliment.

And the line was silent.

When I said it I didn't look at any other student.  I didn't generalize (saying "Good Job" is a terrible compliment because it's vague and children perceive vague as false).

But one compliment, specifically directed at one person, that is specific, clear and sincere can move mountains in your class.

And conversely, shouting does not.

Teachers, attention is food for children.  Good food, bad food, rotten food, if you're hungry enough it doesn't really matter what kind of food it is because those starving children have to eat something.   So whether you're yelling, praising or discussing the features of a Minecraft Rollercoaster, these children just need to be noticed.

Think about your own  class and you can probably point out the children who live in one parent homes where the parent is working all kinds of hours to pay the bills, shuttling several kids around, trying to keep their families respective heads above water and in the list of immediate needs to fill, quality time falls far down that list.

Today, try making several well-placed specific and sincere compliments to your students.  Select a few students that have been making  your day difficult and LOOK (it might be difficult but you will find it!) for that one thing they are doing well.

Then let them.  Praise them.  Sometimes in public but sometimes in private.  Just make it specific, sincere and descriptive of a behavior you want to see more of... And you will.

Because attention is food and some of your children are starving...

Alan Aymie is an award-winning writer/speaker/educator whose work has been seen across the country.  He is currently performing the critically-acclaimed solo play, A Child Left Behind about public education, Asperger's Syndrome and every child's first teacher.  For more information, please visit his website:  www.alanaymie.com













Sunday, September 7, 2014

EIGHT THINGS I DID BEFORE AUGUST 12TH...

"But at least you have your summers off...!"    

I hear it all the time.  The great defense against lousy teachers' salaries across the country - we have our summers off.

When I was going to school in Boston, MA - Labor Day weekend was the last hurrah before the start of a ten-month educational trek that had only only a week at Christmas and April as it's respite.

But I never gave thought to the fact that while I was squeezing out the last drops of Summer that Labor Day weekend, my teachers were probably already in their classrooms - cutting out letters, putting names on pencil boxes and xeroxing spelling packets.
HOW WAS YOUR SUMMER...?

I would kill to make that true today.

On July 23rd of this year, I stepped into my classroom for the first time - a bare room stacked with cardboard boxes filled with every book, pencil and dictionary that goes in my classroom. The same boxes I packed back in June because each year we have to strip our room down bare for its summer cleaning and then unpack in July in time for the first day of school in August.    
      
For the next two weeks I did the following:

1. OPEN BOXES.
 
Lots of them - over forty.  Boxes of books. Boxes of supplies.  Boxes of bean bag seat cushions.  Cleaning supplies.  Paper trays.  Paperclips. Crayons.  band-aids.  STUFF....

2. SURVEY THE MESS

Forty boxes of crap takes up a lot of space.  Sometimes its best to pause, breathe - maybe even shed a tear or two before diving in.

3. PUT BOOKS AWAY

Five different academic books for each of my thirty students.  Not to mention dictionaries, encyclopedias, Thesarus, and chapter books.  All told, over a mid-size car's weight in books that are to be put on shelves, desks and tables.

4. GO SHOPPING

It's July 29th... where are those pencils?

I have thirty students.  I've been given twenty pencils, ten packs of crayons, and six scissors. It's time to head to the 99 CENTS store, KMART and wherever else I can find a deal for the supplies I'm not allowed to ask my parents for... even though my kid's school (not in the same district) gives me a four-page list of the mandatory supplies I am supposed to purchase for their first day in September.   It's okay though, I am a teacher - I AM RICH!!!!

5. MAKE COPIES

All those packets of questionnaires, address cards, introductory letters to the parents and school policies have to be copied sometime, right?  A full day of making copies - ink cartridges, stacks of paper, staplers and hours of manpower that will only get tossed away on the same day I pass them out by parents who don't, can't read them.

6. CRUNCH NUMBERS

The days of "What I Did This Summer" are over.  Teachers are supposed to preview student abilities by looking at last year's scores and get a complete picture of their thirty students, their strengths, areas of concern and an indivualized philosophy, intervention, enrichment, and  pedagocial approach for each and every one of their thirty students.

7. CHECK MY SAVINGS ACCOUNT

Eighty-seven dollars.  Get ready.  We have not had a raise in eight years. The district proposes a 1.2 percent - we politely decline.  Union Leaders say prepare to strike and make sure you start putting savings away for the time you will not be paid... HA-HA-HA..!  Savings.... that's funny.

8. MAKE SURE MY KIDS HAVE DAYCARE, PLAYDATES OR OTHER SUPERVISION

Just because our district goes back to school August 12th, my children's district still maintains enough common sense to start after Labor Day....



Wednesday, June 18, 2014

Hearing from the Experts...


When I first wrote A CHILD LEFT BEHIND, it was to express my frustration at not knowing how to do for my son what I've done rather successfully for hundreds of children over the past ten years:  Teach.

As I continued to perform the show, I saw that the show was advocating for both teachers and parents who shared the same concerns and frustrations - caring people who were looking for help or answers.

One of the benefits of performing this show has been the many wonderfully caring and insight professionals who have not only helped me but numerous others to best support those children on the Autistic Spectrum and I consider it a privilege that they have given their time to participate in a special talk-back after my last show at the Santa Monica Playhouse.

On June 20th, the Santa Monica Playhouse, will be hosting a trio of very special guests to participate in a Q&A "Talk-back" after the show.  This will be a great opportunity for parents, teachers, counselors and all those interested in learning more about Asperger's Syndrome and how to best support those children on the Autistic Spectrum.

Some of the panel that night will include:

FRAN GOLDFARB


Fran Goldfarb, MA, MCHES, is one of the first family support faculty. Ms. Goldfarb has played a role nationally in the development of this LEND discipline, and currently chairs the AUCD LEND Family Discipline Workgroup. She is a board member of United Advocates for Children and Families and served as a member of the North LA Autism Taskforce supporting the CA Senate Select Committee on Autism and Related Disorders. She trains teachers and school administrators on autism as a member the LA County Autism Spectrum Alliance (LACASA). She is the founder and co- Leader of the Los Angeles Asperger Syndrome Parent Support Group. Most importantly, she is the mother of an adult son who has Asperger Syndrome.


BETH BRUST                                   

Beth Brust is an award-winning author of 13 children’s books and numerous articles that have appeared in national publications including the Los Angeles Times, San Diego Union, Highlights for Children and The Horn Book. A graduate of Stanford University, Beth taught writing courses for seven years at UCSD Extension. When her younger son was diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome in third grade, he began attending The Friends’ Club in Carlsbad, California. Founded by Dr. Cynthia Norall, The Friends’ Club teaches these children the social skills they lack naturally. This led Beth to co-write with Dr. Norall QUIRKY, YES—HOPELESS, NO: Practical Tips to Help Your Child With Asperger’s Syndrome published by St. Martin’s Press. It is the only book about Asperger’s Syndrome incorporating an expert’s and a parent’s point of view. QUIRKY, YES is reader-friendly and won the San Diego Book Award, “Best in Education,” and is now available in German. Visit www.bethbrust.com for more.

DEBRA MUNSON           


Debra Munson’s professional experience includes over 20 years of instructional opportunities in primary, secondary and college level learning environments in the United States and overseas. She has collaborated with medical professionals, school districts, and government entities to increase awareness and improve educational services for special needs children and their families. With a degree in special education (emphasis in child development and speech and language), Debra launched her private practice in Holland, Michigan. For 15 years, she was sought out by parents of children with undiagnosed speech disorders and unspecified social struggles. She learned from them and with them, growing ever more intrigued by the mysteries and challenges presented by Aspergers Syndrome. Debra’s contribution to one child’s success was cited in the book, My Child Wasn’t Born Perfect. After moving to Santa Monica, California two years ago, Debra expanded her career focus and began studying brain wave optimization. Recently becoming certified as a Brain Wave Technologist, she is eager to apply that technology to help those who struggle with invisible and often overwhelming challenges.   

For tickets and information, please visit: 

Saturday, June 14, 2014

The Teaching Matrix


It was my first day of substitute teaching and as I sat alone in the teacher's lounge - soaked in my own flop-sweat after a morning that could be best described as arduous.  As I tried to regroup from two hours of pure hell and confusion, I sifted through the LA Times "Help-Wanted" trying to find what I was going to do for the next thirty years of my vocational life, I was suddenly introduced to the matrix....
                                 
No, not THAT Matrix, THIS Matrix.....


It was found in this book and it changed my life - at least my professional one. 

 As I looked at the Matrix, I could see each "Problem child" I had encountered on that first morning of teaching could be placed into one of the four squares of the Matrix and hence I could take the appropriate action to give them what they needed to help support them and lessen the conflict in my classroom.  It was  like Orpheus had stepped into that small teacher's lounge to say, "The time has come to make a choice, Mr. Anderson. Either you choose to be at your desk on time from this day forth, or you choose to find yourself another job...."


Unlike all those other pedagogical vomit-fests of teaching rhetoric - books whose only purpose was to cut away trees and staff development hours, this book actually had something to say.  And not only that, it was said it in a clear and precise way that read:

TEACHERS HAVE THE POWER TO CHANGE THEIR CLASSROOMS.

That was it.  The whole crux of the book spelled out as plainly as that.  YOU can change your class environment,  your students, your school but it starts with you NOT them.

Inside Ms. Karns great book, she explains that ALL students act in ways that benefit them.  Even if it doesn't seem like it - there IS a reason as described in the Matrix below.

So I pushed aside the help-wanted ads, scribbled some notes onto the back of some realtor's flyer, advertising "Every teacher should be able to afford a home!" and realized if I was going to be a teacher, I was going to adopt this philosophy as my own.
If only Neo had posted this on his wall....

As a sign from the education God himself (or herself) I was finally approached by an older teacher who had been peeling a hard-boiled egg in silence.  He walked up to me and pointed to the book with his egg-covered fingers,  mumbling, "You can take it if you want, it's been sitting there for weeks..."

So I tossed the help-wanted and the realtor's flyer into the trash, grabbed the book and to this day - some twelve years later - I still read this book on those days when I forget that one important teaching truth:  I am the cause.

Keanu Reeves, as NEO, once said he didn't like the fact that he wasn't in control of his life - no one is.  But at least with this 
Matrix, you will have a better chance.  

Alan Aymie is a critically acclaimed writer, performer and educational activist, living in LA with his wife and three children.  He is currently performing his critically-acclaimed, A CHILD LEFT BEHIND' - currently running at the Santa Monica Playhouse.  For more information, you can visit www.alanaymie.com






















Teachers Must Speak Up....!!

The following was published in the LAUSD Daily Journal in 2012...

Teacher Turns Disgust at Publishing of Value-Added Rating Into Solo Play

As a stage, film, and television actor for 25 years, Alan Aymie understands that his performances may be reviewed by professional critics, whose opinions are published in newspapers and on websites. Through the years, he has learned to appreciate the good notices, and keep in perspective those that are not as favorable. 
But as a fifth-grade teacher – employed by the Los Angeles Unified School District since 1999 -- he never expected that a one and two-word review of his classroom performance would appear in print and on-line.  When The Los Angeles Times in 2010 published value-added ratings of elementary school teachers in the LAUSD, Aymie, graded average in English Arts and below average in Math, was livid.
Several of his angry colleagues reacted to release of the data with protests, comments on social media sites, and even by canceling their subscriptions to the Los Angeles Times.  Aymie took more time with his response; he wrote a solo play, entitled “A Child Left Behind,” which ran this year at the Beverly Hills Playhouse from mid-April through August 14th.  The show will be performed in September on Thursday evenings and Sunday afternoons at the Ruskin Group Theater Company in Santa Monica (310) 397-3244, and is also scheduled to run in Ojai next April at the Ojai Youth Entertainers Studio. 
Combining his experiences in the classroom, anger over the release of the ratings, and the challenges of being the father of a son with Asperger’s syndrome, a condition that causes significant problems in social interaction, Aymie, who is in his 40s, created a work that the LA Times reviewer wrote relayed a message of “simple, truthful power.”   
This was his second solo show; previously, Aymie wrote “Child’s Play,” which depicted the true story of his attempt to succeed as an unmarried father. 
The latest piece begins with Aymie (called the “Narrator” in the text), a schoolchild in West Roxbury, Massachusetts, being punched out by a young bully.  He arrives home with a black eye, bloody nose, and a fat lip.  Looking at his injured son, the narrator’s father decides to teach the kid how to box.  He also gives him a bit of advice, which over time will assume greater significance:  “It doesn’t pay to speak up.”
Next, the action moves to Los Angeles, many years later, where a demonstration is underway against Sacramento-imposed budget cuts to public education.  The narrator lets the audience know that “a small army of us is marching in front of the LAUSD.” 
From there, “A Child Left Behind” weaves in such scenes as a white teacher interacting with African-American and Latino students in the classroom; tense exchanges between the same teacher and “Principal Jones” about the former’s less-than-stellar performance rating in The Times; and the narrator and others trying to understand and work with a child who has Asperger’s syndrome. 
Aymie has created room in the text for a number of caustic asides about the difficulties teachers face today, inside and outside the classroom, especially the misunderstandings, slights, and humiliations.  But these things are nothing new to the profession. 
Not so the publishing of ratings in the newspaper, as we hear in this speech from the Narrator, which reflects the feelings of the fictional character and the real life teacher: 
“But the one humiliation I have never suffered as a teacher is being called a bad one until the LA Times publicly called me out by name by stating ‘These graphs show that Alan Aymie’s value –added rating based on his or her students’ progress on the California Standards Test….blah-blah-blah…..BELOW AVERAGE!?  The LA TIMES…This was not the Park La Brea News or some “How would you rate your stay?” local B&B comment card, this was the 4th LARGEST NEWSPAPER in the country telling the whole world , “Hey!  He’s no good!”  And to make matters worse they wanted me to publicly respond to their “assessment” but I had nothing to prove.  Besides, it doesn’t pay to speak up.”
*                                           *                                       *
 Alan Aymie
You’ve heard of the person who knew from the age of five that he or she wants to be an actor, or better yet, a star?  Aymie isn’t one of them.
He was 25, working in a miserable sales job, when he was asked to give a speech, after having won an award – for sales, no less.  The prospect terrified him, and he reached out to friends and family for advice.  One suggestion changed his life.
“My cousin said to take an acting class to get over my fear of public speaking,” said Aymie.  “I loved it. “  It’s one thing to follow the script when selling a product, but quite another to speak witty, sexual, or profound lines written to entertain.  “Wow, I can say this stuff?” is how Aymie describes his initial response to acting. 
The company promoted Aymie to Baltimore, where he didn’t know anyone.  He enrolled in the University of Maryland to obtain a bachelor of fine arts degree in theater, and began auditioning for various roles, both to practice his craft and to meet people.  For his first show, he was cast as a waiter in Christopher Durang’s “Beyond Therapy.”  Another production in which Aymie appeared, “Marat/Sade,” performed by the Maryland Stage Company, won several awards as was reviewed nationally in Theater Week.
While living in Maryland, Aymie worked in equity theater, film and television.  In Washington DC., he performed in several productions of Shakespeare’s plays, including the role of Puck in a production of “Midsummer Night’s Dream” at the famous Folger Theatre in Washington.  He was also cast in three films: “Foreign Student” (with Robin Givens), “Guarding Tess” (with Nicholas Cage and Shirley MacLaine) and “The Firm” (with Tom Cruise and Ed Harris). 
How many people are there like Alan Aymie, who arrive in Los Angeles with the intent of working full-time in the entertainment business and end up going into teaching to supplement their incomes?  The LAUSD alone may have hundreds of such employees within its ranks.  
The immediate reason Aymie moved to Southern California, in 1994, was to study acting with the legendary Sanford Meisner, who died in 1997.  He had applied and been accepted to Meisner’s program.  Over the next years, Aymie picked up acting jobs in theater, film, and TV, but he needed additional revenue to pay the bills and have something left over. 
That explains why he decided to become a substitute teacher.  After performing in that role for a few years, Aymie was given the opportunity in 1999 to join the faculty of Hyde Park Elementary School, which had a mostly African-American student population. 
He liked the job immediately.  Full-time teaching gave Aymie the chance to directly impact young lives in a way that not even a matinee performance of “Midsummer Night’s Dream” could equal.   “What I liked most about teaching was the feeling that I made a difference,” he explained.  “Every day I had the opportunity to make a difference.”
After a brief detour from teaching, Aymie returned to the profession in 2003; first at Hyde Park, and then moving to Carthay Center Elementary School, where he has taught fifth grade for several years.  One of his greatest joys each year has been writing and directing a play about early American history for his students to perform. 
“Being from Boston, I love teaching about the Revolutionary War,” said Aymie.  The play, which covers the period from the Boston Massacre to the Constitutional Convention, ran for three performances last year.  Each time it was staged, “I was pacing in the back, nervously,” added the writer/director.
Aymie said that with massive budget cuts and what he described as increased scrutiny, it’s not as enjoyable being a teacher today as at the beginning of his career.  Back in the early 2000s, for example, he didn’t have to purchase pencils and paper for his students. 
Yet one thing hasn’t changed, and that keeps him tethered to the job.  “The kids are still great,” he said.
Plus, where else would he find material for successful solo plays? 


By: Tom Waldman